Thank you so much, Joseph. It can be so hard to embrace the entirety of our parents' humanity, but in so doing, I think we reclaim parts of ourselves. I'm happy it resonated.
The strangest thing for me is not the contents of this, but the fact I’m reading it after watching an episode of one of my favourite shows and crying as a daughter speaks at her mother’s funeral. Those moments will always get me. I wanted to speak at my mum’s, but when the time came, what I had written had to be read by one of my old teachers because I couldn’t do it. My heart was too full and empty at the same time, and all I could do was cry.
I think we all look back on the things that happened and wonder if we could or should have done things differently, but there’s one thing that being in a body that shouldn’t still be here has taught me, and it’s that what happens, happens. Our lives are full of moments. There’s a quote from The Haunting of Hill House that I love because it encapsulates it so beautifully:
"I loved you completely. And you loved me the same. That's all. The rest is confetti."
Aw, wow, that's really beautiful. I've had so many moments since my dad left that have assured me he knew I loved him completely. I'm sure with your mum it's the same.
Beautiful piece, Nicki, and a moving tribute. You capture all the complexity of the relationship, a relationship so many, including me, can relate to.
Thank you so much, Joseph. It can be so hard to embrace the entirety of our parents' humanity, but in so doing, I think we reclaim parts of ourselves. I'm happy it resonated.
The strangest thing for me is not the contents of this, but the fact I’m reading it after watching an episode of one of my favourite shows and crying as a daughter speaks at her mother’s funeral. Those moments will always get me. I wanted to speak at my mum’s, but when the time came, what I had written had to be read by one of my old teachers because I couldn’t do it. My heart was too full and empty at the same time, and all I could do was cry.
I think we all look back on the things that happened and wonder if we could or should have done things differently, but there’s one thing that being in a body that shouldn’t still be here has taught me, and it’s that what happens, happens. Our lives are full of moments. There’s a quote from The Haunting of Hill House that I love because it encapsulates it so beautifully:
"I loved you completely. And you loved me the same. That's all. The rest is confetti."
Aw, wow, that's really beautiful. I've had so many moments since my dad left that have assured me he knew I loved him completely. I'm sure with your mum it's the same.