Breaking Down 'The Vow': Season 2, Episode 1
An insider's perspective and episode breakdown of HBO's 'The Vow'
“It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.”
―Mark Twain (maybe)
One thing eventually became evident when filming with The Vow for season two: They knew the story they wanted to tell, and they needed us to give the appearance of balance. It’s unfortunate, not just because it portrays me and others in an inaccurate light, but because it’s a missed opportunity to bring more clarity and perspective to a highly complex situation. No matter how much evidence we gave the filmmakers that countered their protagonists’ claims, they refused to show it. We naively assumed that season one was so one-sided simply because they didn’t have access, but it would appear that rather than access, they lacked the willingness to challenge a narrative that had been ingrained in mainstream culture and solidified by the government. I don’t plan on presenting all of this counter-evidence in my critique of The Vow, but rather shine a light on the flawed filmmaking process. This article is by no means exhaustive, but it at least lends a little context and hopefully leads to even more questions.
Wake Me Up When It’s Over
I know it’s likely self-evident, but I’ll start by stating the obvious: The premiere episode of HBO’s The Vow is slow and boring. There wasn’t a lot that stood out to me, except, of course, the misleading ways they frame and edit the footage to propel their narrative forward. Vague interludes of scenes “unfolding” with suspenseful music lead the viewer to believe they are watching events as they happened in real-time, but, as I stated in my previous article, this isn’t the case. For example, the scenes where I’m appearing to take boxes from Keith’s house were filmed two years after the other scenes in the episode occur, yet audiences are led to believe it’s happening simultaneously.
Persuasive Ambiguity
As in the first season, there are a lot of subtle editing tricks and juxtapositions that communicate and affirm subconscious biases. There are also several scenes that imply that Keith is bad, but don’t give specific reasons or examples of why. You’d think with all the access they had, they wouldn’t need so much filler and subliminal messaging to show why Keith allegedly deserves to spend the rest of his life in prison.
Five examples of vague or unsubstantiated claims:
Mark says to Sarah over the phone that they’re “accustomed to getting beaten up for so long.” What is he talking about? Not having a honeymoon, which he cried about in season one?
In the scene where Karen shows Mark a spreadsheet where people in ESP were tracking who had left, Mark and Karen (and the filmmakers) infer that is proof that NXIVM was spying on “defectors.” If a company is coming under attack by people from within, isn’t it reasonable to keep a spreadsheet of people who have left? Even just to stop sending them company emails. I see nothing nefarious with it, and I never once heard of anyone “spying” or seeking information on the people who had left. Mark fancies himself far more important than he is, in my opinion.
In a scene where I’m talking about how I had a relationship with Keith, and how I once felt insecure, they cut to a clip of him saying to me in front of a group, “Okay, one more,” which was addressing a group and saying one more question: ie. one more question. But there’s this subliminal message of me being one more of his partners, or “victims,” as the narrative would have you believe. They don’t include my question, or what his answer was, just one clip of him saying, “You can always go farther,” which aligns with this idea that nothing was ever enough. Not hard to put that messaging together, even though it’s subtle. I will look for that full clip, as it will present a very different reality.
Mark and Bonnie visit a self-proclaimed expert on cult manipulation, Diane Benscoter. They exchange a bunch of gobbledygook that seems to affirm whatever Mark and Bonnie are feeling. Mark complains that people who are still supportive of NXIVM are “so angry at us for what we did,” even though he cites no examples of anyone being angry at him. Diane says more gobbledygook, emotional music plays, and everyone seems satisfied with themselves.
There’s a whole scene with Mark, Bonnie, Catherine, and Toni imagining what they think Keith is thinking and wanting to do. Watch it again — projection is a thing.
No Intros or Context
During our months of negotiations with Karim Amer and Jehane Noujaim, the director/producer duo behind The Vow, the one thing they promised over and over was that they were going to give us the opportunity and the platform to tell our story. They promised to treat us with humanity and our stories with the nuance and complexity they deserved. Our goal was not to convince people we’re right, but for audiences to understand our positions and why we believe what we do. They even promised to dedicate entire, exclusive episodes to our “side,” so that we could be assured information gaps weren’t being filled in by the people trying to destroy and discredit us.
None of this happened.
My first introduction was me saying that I had a physical relationship with Keith. Nice claim to fame. That, in itself, inspires so much prejudice and makes people automatically assume I can’t see things clearly because of my relationship with him. None of the clips of me give any context as to how I have come to my current conclusions, which, if presented, I think would be perfectly understandable to any reasonable person.
Michele, similarly, got no introduction as far as who she is, her accomplishments, her values, and what eventually led her to her discovering and appreciating ESP and its tools. The editing makes it appear as though her breakup left her in a vulnerable state, and that she joined ESP from that state. Again, reinforcing the “damaged woman” stereotype. According to Michele, it was quite the opposite. It was long after the breakup, when she was looking for ways of becoming a better leader and educator. She was intrigued by Marc Elliot’s transformation after beating Tourette’s (more on that to come), and took her first intensive with full knowledge of all the bad press, but wanting to decide for herself.
They also make it appear as though Michele initially had tried to “run away” from the situation, which isn’t true. Michele and I lived together during the time of the trial and the height of the media storm. Both of us were busy working full-time and trying to avoid the public eye due to the hostile narrative and threats from the government. Michele met with Moira and the FBI twice and when she refused to agree with what they were telling her to say, because she knew it wasn’t true, they were so afraid she would testify for the defense that they threatened her attorney, saying they would subpoena her to testify for them and charge her with perjury if she didn't meet with them again. Michele didn’t end up testifying for either side after being harassed and bullied — and she isn’t the only one.
Karim Amer asked to use some of my footage for a trailer that they said was going to show audiences that there is a whole “other side” to this story. He assured me he couldn’t use it without my written permission, and he would show me the trailer first. The trailer never aired, yet my footage appeared in this episode. I was not paid and did not sign a release.
The Moira Behind the Curtain
I was surprised that Moira Penza, the lead prosecutor, was willing to be filmed throughout this phase of the case, assuming it was before trial as it appears. On second thought, it was more likely filmed after she won. Even so, I learned a lot about her strategy by watching. More than anything, it is clear that she determined Keith was a “crime boss,” and NXIVM a “criminal organization,” before doing any research. Then, once she had her sights set, and with the power of infinite resources behind her, she was able to contort reality to make her career-making case a success.
It’s important to keep in mind that the Northern District of New York, the district that should have jurisdiction over NXIVM because that is where the company was based, refused to prosecute after evaluating the evidence. They determined it was consenting adults and nothing they saw constituted federal charges. This was before Catherine Oxenberg went on her media tour, and before the MeToo movement nudged the “evergreen” New York Times article onto their front page.
Moira talks about how she read the NYT article and noticed certain details about the NXIVM organization (a charismatic leader, a hierarchical structure, etc.), and from those details, she knew it was organized crime. If that’s true, that could apply to so many companies: Apple, Tesla, and, dare I say, the US Government. Moira claims the sashes were a way to indoctrinate people, but she doesn’t say how or into what. The sashes were a measurement system akin to belts in martial arts. There was a very clear structure for what it took to reach each level, and people could choose whether they wanted to pursue that path or not. I get that it might seem weird to people, and there are a lot of weird things in this case, but not everything that’s weird is evidence of a crime.
Perhaps most revealing, Moira states that it “was very important to show that sex was a major part of this.” Why would this be so important? The reason for this is if you look past the haze of salaciousness, there are no compelling crimes. Nancy Salzman, who was allegedly at the top of this “criminal organization,” was charged with racketeering conspiracy, alteration of a video used in a civil proceeding, and conspiracy to commit identity theft. Not very headline-making. Not HBO docuseries-making either.
As for the collateral issue, Moira conflates Keith’s private sex life with DOS, which were separate and distinct. Keith had multiple long-term partners, with whom he had relationships for many years, certainly years before DOS. It so happens that he and a few of them decided to create DOS together. Not all of Keith’s partners became part of DOS, it was by no means a requirement, and no women in DOS (by my direct knowledge and after reading the trial transcripts) were told to have sex with Keith. It’s just not true. But you won’t find any of these questions or distinctions in The Vow. You’ll find Moira’s narrative being espoused as if it were gospel. She’s also filmed in a controlled environment, looking respectable in an office in front of a giant binder. In contrast, Keith’s attorney is shown riding a crowded subway and pleading with aggressive journalists.
It is revealing that Moira says, “I certainly stand by my decision to prosecute all of them.” Why would someone who is only pursuing truth and justice need to justify themselves in this way?
At Least They Debunked the Seduced Lie
I can’t be bothered to debunk all of Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult because it’s so full of scripted lies, but at least this episode of The Vow debunked one of them for me. I don’t know who started this rumor, but I’m assuming it was Catherine Oxenberg. It first appeared on the Frank Report, and then later in Seduced and other tabloids. The lie is that one of my instagram posts is what tipped off the FBI as to Keith’s whereabouts, leading to his capture. Not only is this insulting to the FBI’s intelligence operations, but it’s also factually impossible because the photo in question was taken on a family vacation in Puerto Vallarta, nowhere near where Keith was. It was in Mexico, sure, but I was with my mom, aunts, uncle, and cousins, to visit and celebrate my birthday. The statue I’m posing at the top of is an iconic piece of public art in Puerto Vallarta, easily distinguishable, and, again, nowhere near Keith Raniere.
In The Vow, a Mexican official said that what tipped them off was recognizing Allison Mack from Smallville, driving in a golf cart in the city of Chacala, about two hours north of Puerto Vallarta. I’m not sure I believe that either since there had been over 30 Americans visiting, using their cell phones and credit cards from the location where Keith was taken.
Michele the Ventriloquist
As I mentioned earlier, it really bothers me how they edited Michele’s interview. They make it seem like she went from feeling lost and suicidal to “finding” DOS, and joining only because she thought Allison was cool. They skipped over several years of her life, wherein she became a Fulbright scholar, worked in academia, taught in the NYC public school system, developed farming communities, and much more.
More specifically, her phone call with Keith was staged by the filmmakers. Up until that point, Michele had never talked to Keith on the phone. However, the appearance of that phone call would almost make it seem as though they spoke all the time. It was Karim who was in touch with Keith and happened to have a phone call during Michele’s master interview. They surprised her and asked if she wanted to talk to him, then shoved two cameras in her face. Any awkwardness on her part is a result of those two things. The two phones in her hand are Karim’s. Everything else is a result of having only the quotes that make her sound like she’s blindly following Keith because he’s convinced her it’s the “principled” thing to do. Oh, and if you look closely, you can see her lips aren’t moving during the last thing she says, so the conversation is obviously Frankensteined.
My Portrayal
I could write a Master’s thesis on the trickery they used to make me look and sound like a lost soul who fell into the clutches of a manipulative genius, and found herself empty and struggling after the community she loved and “relied upon'' was destroyed. Instead, I’ll just take just a minute to show how the caricature they portray is reductive and dehumanizing. In the face of all the adversity I have faced — losing my career, my loved ones, my home, my reputation — I have actually fared quite well; some might say I have thrived. In part, because of all the tools and growth I experienced in ESP. Also, in part, because I’m a smart, resourceful, and thoughtful person, and always have been.
The filmmakers took small chunks of different things I had said and pieced it together to create a portrait of a beaten character clinging to the acceptance she once felt being part of the community, and being close to Keith. It’s ironic because, unlike a lot of the “stars” of this story, good or bad, I am someone who never lost touch with my friends and community outside of ESP. I also have a very close relationship with my mom. We talk every day. She understands my choices, and she trusts me. After all, she raised me to be kind and questioning, and to stand by my principles. So when shit went south, I had support. That doesn’t mean it’s been easy — far from it. I have faced some tough realities, some that most people, hopefully, will never face in their lifetimes, but I have never lost sight of who I am, what matters, or the belief that I can handle almost any situation.
I will write more about my personal story in future articles, so be sure to subscribe!
Noooo, Not the Coat Scene!
I have no one to blame but myself for this one. At the time, I guess was feeling nostalgic? I have a faint memory of thinking it was a bad idea, but I hadn’t seen Keith in over two years and his coat was an artifact from a simpler time. I realize within the context of how I’m portrayed, and how Keith is portrayed, I look mesmerized and infatuated. This is not the case, but I suppose I should have known better all things considered. Oh well. I’ll take the L.
Sarah Knows Best
My “introduction” is bookended with Sarah’s commentary. How convenient. It communicates that Sarah has a clearer vantage point, which couldn’t be less true. Sarah says she feels “responsible” for me. Personally, I’d be very curious to know what she means by that. Since she left ESP, all she’s done is send me threatening or passive-aggressive text messages and emails. Not once has she ever asked me how I’m doing, or if there’s any way she could be of support. Instead, she uses my name to sell her books, talk about me in interviews, and fuel her self-righteousness by smugly professing that I am “not fine.” It’s apparent that anyone who disagrees with Sarah is “not fine.”
Sarah also says that I have “a hard road ahead of” me. I wonder if she’s referring to me having to defend myself in a civil lawsuit she waged with about 80 other people. I have no doubt she was responsible for recruiting and organizing most of the people in it. After all, she was one of the top recruiters while she was in NXIVM, why wouldn’t she be the top recruiter against NXIVM? She goes on to say, “The first step to being on that road is recognizing that Keith is not who he says he is. I don’t know if she’ll ever accept that. And I’m not going to be the one to tell her that she’s wrong about that” Except that, she is telling me that. “She’s gotta come to that on her own terms. I can’t control it.” But, obviously, she’s going to try.
The Art of the Plea
The episode devotes a few minutes to all the co-defendants taking plea deals. It happens so quickly, viewers likely assume they all, once separated from Keith’s influence, come to their senses and cop to their crimes. But that’s not quite it. In fact, that’s not it at all. I was part of the co-defendant meetings leading up to the plea deals. Everyone was planning to go to trial. Then two things happened a few months before trial:
The FBI magically discovered “child pornography” (22 photos of a nude woman, they allege was 15)
The judge refused to sever the trials (allow the co-defendants to have their own trials)
These developments meant that anyone who went to trial would have to stand next to someone accused of sexually exploiting a minor, possibly the worst charge imaginable. This is the point where innocence or guilt becomes an afterthought. The prejudice is so high, and undoubtedly the co-defendants believed what the government was showing them (evidence that six forensic experts have since concluded were manufactured and planted by the FBI). Even if they believed in their own innocence, they couldn’t take the risk of going to trial. Any lawyer in their right mind would have advised against it. Sadly, I have learned that this is how our system works: Innocence is secondary to playing the game. And with infinite resources on their side, the government plays to win, and almost always does.
Dancing on Graves
Lastly, I want to comment on the expressions of the “whistleblowers” when Keith and the others meet their demise. I don’t care what someone has done, I have never and would never celebrate someone going to prison. And in this situation, we’re not talking about some random criminal. Lauren officiated Sarah and Nippy’s wedding; she was the godmother to Sarah’s son. Mark and Bonnie lived in Allison’s home for years; Allison sang at their wedding. It’s shocking and rather disgusting to me how quickly they turned on the people they called close friends for years. I can see how they demonize Keith because it’s the same way they put him on a pedestal for years, but it’s harder for me to understand how they can justify putting Nancy, Allison, and Clare in prison. These people were not just their peers and co-workers, they were close friends.
“Never find your delight in another’s misfortune.” — Publilius Syrus
Call me old-fashioned, but friendship and commitment mean something to me. If I’ve ever been close with someone, even if the relationship ends on not-so-good terms, I would never feel happy if something bad happened to them.
If you missed my commentary on Season One of The Vow, you can read it here.