Who is Nicki Clyne?
I care about truth and I care about justice. I’ve been given a unique opportunity to fight for both, and faced tremendous adversity along the way.
My commitment to these principles was tested when I was the target of an international hate campaign (ongoing) and a federal investigation (in 2018).
A lot has been written about me, my friends (and former friends), and an organization I was a part of for 15 years, but so far nothing has sought to a) capture the complexity of the situation, b) bring out the whole truth, c) expose the injustices that have taken place, or d) consider the humanity of all involved. It is my view that the pursuit of truth requires us to put our personal interests aside, and the pursuit of justice requires a complete detachment from the result.
My goal is not to convince anyone to agree with my choices or even my opinions. The beauty of living in America is supposed to be that people with different beliefs and opinions can live together harmoniously, as long as we all follow the law. My goal is to convince people that prejudice, hate, and injustice are always wrong and that we should seek to get rid of them whenever we see them — in the world and in ourselves.
But I’m not here to preach.
I’m here to share my thought process, my insights, my experiences, and my observations, with the hope that it’s valuable to others, especially those who share an interest in truth and justice.
Not to brag, but I’ve been through a lot of crazy sh*t, so my hope is that I can be interesting and entertaining too.
Since I was young, I’ve been criticized for being “too serious,” so here’s a picture of me with a bird on my head. I think it captures my essence.
What you will read here
I will be sharing personal essays, commentary, reviews, and anything else that evolves from this platform and the people who are part of it. I like to ask questions and answer them too, as it always leads to deeper questions. If you sign up for a paid subscription, you can send me questions to be answered in future posts.
My background
I dabbled in college while working as a professional actor in Vancouver, BC. Most people know me from the sci-fi series, Battlestar Galactica. I played Cally, the space mechanic with memorable bangs and a big heart. I loved everything about working on that show, except for *spoiler alert* meeting my untimely demise. Contrary to online rumors, I never asked to leave and secretly hoped I would be one of the final five.
In 2005, I took a personal development program called Executive Success Programs. I really liked it because it took a practical approach to introspection and self-realization. Through Socratic questioning, emotional explorations, self-awareness practices, and tangible goal-setting tools, I found myself expanding my vision of what was possible and moving on a path toward achieving it. I also transformed some of my most difficult relationships (with my father) and overcame several self-destructive habits. I found the education so profound that I became a coach and moved to Albany, NY.
In 2017, Executive Success Programs (also referred to as NXIVM) became the subject of an international media scandal, and the whole community came under siege. Accused of being a “sex cult,” the woman who introduced me to the program did a complete 180, rebranded herself as a “whistleblower,” and told the New York Times that NXIVM was a dangerous cult. Since then, that’s the only narrative that has gotten any airtime.
My perspective is slightly different. And my perspective has evolved over time, upon new information, and after much introspection.
They say you never really know what you’re made of until you’re tested, and the tests have been humbling, tragic, and transformative. The NXIVM community was tested in ways unimaginable to anyone involved. We were blindsided by internal betrayals, a media that feeds off victimhood and sensationalism, and a justice system that seeks to win at the cost of truth and justice.
Churchill is credited with saying “Never let a good crisis go to waste,” and I don’t intend to. Driven by an unrelenting commitment to the truth, I continue to navigate this complex and nuanced situation with an open heart and open mind. I hope to shine a light on the role media plays in forming a worldview that is divorced from reality and designed to incite prejudice and moral indignation. I also hope to expose the ways the criminal justice system is weaponized for personal and political gain, and that due process in this country is nothing but lip service to a non-existent ideal.
Why “Don’t Call It a Comeback?”
I am rebuilding after having my life completely annihilated by outside forces. I wouldn’t wish what I’ve been through on my worst enemy, but as hard as it was, I wouldn’t change a thing. I went dark in the public eye for two years, fearing for my safety and facing federal indictment. People might see my renewed public presence as a comeback, but the truth is I never went anywhere. I wouldn’t be who I am without all the experiences I’ve had, and I hope by sharing them I can inspire others to embrace their hardships to find strength, wisdom, and a type of freedom on the other side.
